
During the past few months, I have heard several people say, in different ways, essentially the same thing: “I had to put my life on hold” or “My dreams are now on the back burner” due to good or bad circumstances in their lives that forced them to abandon, but not to forget, the future they once imagined.
I understand those feelings because I experienced them myself several times. However, it seems to me that the number of people whose lives are “on hold” keeps growing. Therefore, I began wondering what exactly happens when we put our lives “on hold.” It seems to me that, consciously or not, we erroneously transform our present into just a waiting room for the future.
Let’s be honest: nobody enters the waiting room because they want to be there. We are there waiting for somebody to call our name so we complete whatever we need to do there so we can finally go somewhere else. Perhaps, then, we assume life works the same way: when this problem ends or when circumstances improve, then I will be able to resume my life.
The problem is that life continues while we wait. Even more importantly, perhaps our wait is based on confusing the unknown with the impossible. That confusion will keep us waiting for something that will never arrive.
British philosopher Tim Freke uses the word “pastivity” to describe, broadly speaking, how accumulated information from the past creates patterns that continue operating in the present. I find the concept increasingly useful. Our memories, experiences, successes, failures, fears and expectations continuously tell us what is reasonable, probable and possible.
Pastivity, Freke says, can become something like an algorithm. Perhaps that explains why we so easily confuse the unknown with the impossible. “I don't know how this could happen” quietly becomes “this cannot happen.” We reach the edge of our mental map and conclude that we have reached the edge of the territory.
Otto Scharmer's Theory U proposes something radically different: instead of learning exclusively from the past, we can learn from the emerging future. At the bottom of the familiar U-shaped arrow that illustrates Scharmer's Theory U there is a gap between “letting go” and “letting come.”
In other words, there is no direct connection between the past and the future. So, what kind of nothingness is that gap? It is, I think, the nothingness of silence, but not in the sense of eliminating noise. When it rains continuously, after a while I no longer hear the rain. The clock keeps ticking even after I stop noticing the tick-tock. Perhaps silence works similarly.
The noise of the past does not disappear. My biography remains my biography. My failures remain failures and my wounds remain wounds. I approach silence as a disposition in which the past remains present without retaining the authority to determine what happens next.
We need silence to listen to the emerging future because the future needs to be heard before it can be imagined.






