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What can we do when they stop us from building our own future?

Francisco Miraval

I recently heard about the case of a young female student who, just a couple of months after finishing high school, decided to go to college. At 19, she decided to attend a college in another state and, for reasons that will soon be apparent, she already decided to drop out of college and return to her home.

Her decision is not based on economic problems or on lack of academic level. She did have the money to pay for college and her academic level is good. Also, she wants to get ahead in life. She (whom I never met personally) left college because of the pressure of her parents.

For her, it was her first time living alone away from home. So, she was allowed to move to another state under one condition imposed by her parents: they should have access to her college email account, to her schedule, to her list of activities, and to all her contacts, including professors and classmates.

In just a few weeks, her dream of being a college turned into a nightmare: she discovered her parents “to protect her” were in direct contact with her professors and her classmates.

Because of that, she had a serious conflict with her parents and she felt she couldn’t stay in college. She decided to return home. Once there, the parents told her they always knew she would not last very long in college.

I should also mention the case of young man (whom I personally know) who, due to his good grades, received a scholarship to study in California. A few months later, he was told her mother was sick. He took two jobs to help his family and put his studies on hold.

Then he was told his mother was very sick He flew home to see his mother and there he found out she was in perfect health. He was informed by his parents it was just a trick to force him to return. In addition, his father called his employers in California to notify them his son will not be returning there.

This man, 23, now lives in constant depression in the basement of his parents. I am sure they are so proud for having “helped’ him, in the same way the parents of the students previously mentioned are also proud of their “help”.

There are many more similar cases. For example, I know the case of a young couple that, because of their hard work, built their own dream home without telling their families. Then, they invited their families to come and visit. Once there, several family members refused to leave. Eventually, the couple had to sell the home and they divorced soon after that.

That same cycle of working to destroy the future of someone who doesn’t meet our expectations or follow our traditions repeats itself at community, national, and global levels. It’s a pathology proper of closed minds, hearts, and wills. I hope one day, perhaps soon, it will end.

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