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How to express my love for my perfect self in Valentine's Day

Francisco Miraval

In a few days, in the United States and in other countries millions of people will celebrate Valentine’s Day, one of those hyper-commercialized days when even car parts stores have special offers. Whatever the case, a recent article about 17 tips to find happiness in celebrating Valentine's Day caught my attention.

The writer of the article, a well-known speaker and psychotherapist, begins saying that Valentine’s Day is one of those moments when we need to remember that “the greatest thing in life called LOVE” (capital letters used in the original.) However, I was surprised to learn that the greatest love is not loving others (spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, friends), but loving yourself.

According to this expert, one of the best ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day (and, I add, probably any other day) is, “Remind yourself everyday how special you are.” And then she adds that, “God made you perfectly. Enjoy who you are.”

Just in case the first five tips were not clear enough about how self-centered you need to be to discover happiness on Valentine’s Day, tip number 6 says, “Show self-love by putting yourself first - do something special for you!” After that, eleven other tips emphasize this point.

We know nothing about the historical Saint Valentine, except his name and that he lived many centuries ago. Regardless, it should be clear that the Valentine included among the martyrs of the Catholic Church could have hardly taught any kind of “self-love” or that we, humans, are already perfect, because those teachings contradict the traditional teachings of the church.

How, then, is possible to go from a day –regardless of when the modern Valentine’s Day began– when we celebrated others and our love for others to a day when I celebrate me and my own perfection, a day for me to show me how much I love me and how perfect I am, and, in doing so, I feel happy?

I was asking myself that same question when I received an email from a large Christian organization that, together with two local Christian radio stations, are launching this week, because of Valentine’s Day, a campaign called “Believe in yourself,” promoting the idea that if you are passionate about something and you give your best, you will achieve success.

Whatever happened to trusting a Supreme Being and allowing him/her to work in your life?

Receiving twice in the same week two invitations to love myself and to believe in myself, and to remind me of how perfect I am and that I can accomplish whatever I want to accomplish, made me realize how much the priorities for our lives have changed. We are no longer willing to give our lives (figuratively speaking) for others or to search for spiritual transcendence and transformation.

I am not saying, of course, that we should despise ourselves or that we should forget about ourselves. However, to assume we are perfect creatures and that happiness means continuous self-worshipping is too close to narcissism for my taste.

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